


Flowers of the Cosmos

by youropinioniswrong



Category: 60 Parsecs!, 60 Seconds! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Biphobia, Coming Out, Flashbacks, Hanahaki Disease, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, Nonbinary Character, Other, Pining, Some Swearing, Transphobia, Unrequited Love, death mention, its gonna get a lot worse than what you see right now, its implied at least, shooting mention, tom has been through some shit, you can rip that headcanon out of my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-08-23 03:51:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16611386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youropinioniswrong/pseuds/youropinioniswrong
Summary: I've never played the game before and the wiki gives approximately no information on the planets or anything, so be warned of vagueness and inaccuracies.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never played the game before and the wiki gives approximately no information on the planets or anything, so be warned of vagueness and inaccuracies.

Day 20. Twenty days stuck in space with complete strangers that were slowly growing to friends, twenty days of getting a can of soup maybe every five days, twenty days of worry and loneliness in the vast cosmos. Well, not anymore- the Astrocitizens had landed on a strange, dusty planet not too long ago. Tom had been sitting oddly on their chair for the past hour or so, daydreaming of what was to come. Emmet, or Captain Ellis, was studying up on the ship in case there was still any damage. Baby and Maegan were talking quietly about something.  
“Guys?” Emmet called out, looking up. “I think we're good repair-wise on the ship and ourselves.” He raced over to the handbook. “And… I think it’s time to start exploring.”  
“Headin’ outside the ship, you mean?” asked Baby, his eyes widening.  
"Oh, hell yes!” shouted Tom, shooting upright in their seat.  
“Do you want to go?” questioned Emmet, amused.  
“What could be sweeter than that?! Besides, I’ve gone on many dangerous missions in my time, I will handle it well. For instan-"  
“Don’t start,” advised Maegan.  
“Well, I guess you can head out. Come here, look at the locations.” Emmet and Tom spent a good amount of time figuring out where to send Tom and with what items with Baby looking over their shoulders curiously. Eventually they both agreed and Tom was heading out the airlock. They gave a salute as they head out, and Baby gave one back excitedly. Tom turned and felt themself blushing. This immediately spawned an argument in their own head, which they thought about the rest of the way there.

Back at the shuttle, Emmet turned to Maegan.  
“He's nuts.”  
“No he's not!” defended Baby.  
“He’s strange, to say the least,” said Maegan  
“Yeah.” Emmet glanced out the shuttle window. “…I hope he makes it.”  
“He probably will,” assured Maegan, more to Baby than Emmet. “He has strength to him.”  
“Yeah…” said Baby. The trio stood in silence for a couple moments before starting their work.

Tom bounced awkwardly around the site. They had no idea how long it had been since they left the shuttle, but they had supplies and thought they might be able to come back soon. They took a moment to imagine their faces as they returned with stories of the dangers they had faced during their journey, and Baby's excitement. No, they shouldn’t be thinking about Baby specifically. That was dumb. But he had been on their mind a lot during the expedition. And in general. Were they-? Then, Tom froze. Something felt rough in their lungs. Was the air low? They suddenly were choking. They coughed, and felt something come out of their mouth.  
It was a few silky, pink petals.  
Tom froze again. The thought of what it meant flew into their mind, but they shoved it out quickly. No. That was the last thing they'd expect to suffer from. It wasn't possible. Tom kept moving. But, in what could have been thirty minutes or six hours, they started choking again. They puked up more petals into their helmet.  
No. God no. It couldn’t be it.  
But what else could it be?  
Tom had heard about the hanahaki disease. A rare disease that came from one-sided obsessive love to a person, causing them to puke up cherry blossom petals. That was all they knew about it. But they couldn’t have it. But, if they did, they'd have to hide it. Tom immediately began thinking of how he could bullshit himself out of this one. It wouldn’t be too hard, would it? Just cough into their elbow or behind a chair or something. Yeah, it would be easy. Then Tom fell into a pit they hadn't noticed.  
Ah, right. Surroundings are a thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 24.  
“Tom should be back soon, right?” Maegan looked up at the question.  
“If all went well, yes,” answered Maegan. “Why?”  
“Baby's getting anxious,” explained Emmet. “He'd hate to see any one of us hurt- and so would I.”  
“Yes, as frustrating as he can get, losing Tom would… not be good for any of us,” agreed Maegan. She grasped her necklaces and twirled them. Emmet sighed and looked away.  
“We're running low on soup. I hope he finds some sort of food out there.”  
“So do I. The less soup-like it is, the better,” joked Maegan. Emmet let out a laugh, but it was forced. They were quiet for a moment. Then both their heads shot up at a hiss.  
“The airlock?!” both said at the same time. Baby, who had been sitting in his chair kitty corner Emmet and Maegan, looked up.  
“I HAVE ARRIVED!” shouted Tom. They tore off their helmet and discreetly discarded the cherry blossom petals. Everyone stood up to greet them, but Baby somehow made it there first. He didn’t hug Tom, but he looked like he wanted to.  
“You're okay!”  
“Heh, uh, course I am!” laughed Tom, swinging an arm.  
“Did you find anything?” asked Emmet, eyes shining.  
“Hell yeah I did!” Tom showed off everything they found one by one, or at least tried to with Emmet and Maegan hurrying them. Altogether, it was a great haul.  
“Shame the armor got damaged,” sighed Emmet, “but we’ll make it work.”   
“Thomson?” It was ASTRO speaking. “I'd like to scan your body for any troubles it may have had during your time outside the shuttle.”  
“M'kay,” responded Tom, and they stepped in front of ASTRO's screen. The AI did a quick scan.  
“It appears there is some sort of minor blockage in your lungs, crewmate Thomson,” noted ASTRO. “I cannot tell what it is, but you may have somehow breathed something in.” Tom felt their pulse speed up. “Besides some minor sanity and hunger issues, you otherwise appear fine.”  
“That's good, then?” asked Baby.  
“Yes,” assured Maegan. She titled her head at Tom. “I wonder what that blockage is, though?”  
“Well, perhaps it is from when-“  
“Stop,” cut in Emmet. “Well, we're glad to have you back, Tom.” Emmet nodded at his crewmate.  
“Glad to be back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short so i decided to upload this one! workin on the rest of the fic rn, im happy with where it's going so far and i hope anyone else who reads enjoys it too!! <3


	3. Chapter 3

Early day 28. Tom muffled their gags in the corner of the ship. They let the petals fall into and through their fingers, barely breathing. Was that more than it had been, or were they imagining things? And was that blood on a couple of them? Tom shook themself. It didn’t matter, long as they weren’t caught. Tom turned their head to look at Baby, who was sleeping.  
Goddamnit. Tom knew they loved Baby, and they knew that was the reason he woke up every night unable to breathe through the cherry blossoms. They had assumed that trying to cancel out their crush on Baby would cure them, but that wasn't easy. Baby, so friendly and approachable, the only one that ever listened to or defended them. Honestly, besides their will to live, Baby was the only clear reason Tom was still on the damn ship. They sometimes wondered what the point of acting like a hero and lying so much was, but they kept doing it. They could control it about as much as their ailment. Tom shivered and crushed the petals. There wasn't a point in thinking about that. They just needed to wait.

“Captain, I’m concerned about Tom. He is almost certainly ill, but he refuses to come near me or do anything about it!” complained ASTRO.  
“So am I,” admit Emmet quietly. “You’d think someone like him would be complaining about it, but he's… not.” Emmet glanced up at Tom, who was staring into space with a confident smile. “He’s just daydreaming.”  
“Perhaps you could talk to him? Convince him to let me scan him or tell you if he knows what's up?  
“I might do that. Or I could get someone else to do it.”  
“The only other person on-board right now is Maegan, Captain. And I don't think she's in the best place mentally.” ASTRO was right. Baby had been sent out on an expedition and Maegan was sitting in her chair with a stressed look. Suddenly Tom burst into a coughing fit. They coughed directly into their hands and made fists when it was over. They looked up at a concerned Emmet and flashed a grin.  
“Are you positive you're okay, Tom?” questioned Emmet.  
“Course!”  
“I dunno, Tom. It’s been three days since you came back and you're still sick, or at least coughing like mad.”  
“Eh, I’m sure it'll blow over,” they laughed. “Nothin’ I can’t handle!”  
“I'm really not sure about that,” sighed Maegan, “but it's like you're going to listen.”  
“Damn right!”  
“About how you're not going to handle this or how you're not going to listen?” questioned Emmet sarcastically.  
“Oh, guess.”  
“Both, then.”  
"...you germ."  
Maegan started laughing and Tom and Emmet snorted. They didn't discuss it the rest of the day, instead discussing strange foods they had eaten during their time on Earth. Tom was shockingly descriptive in their claims of once almost dying from a pufferfish, but everyone still refused to believe it. As usual.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sucks and it's really short and i don't have the chapter after this done but eh. enjoy, friends

Day 30. Baby held back sobs as Emmet, panicked, pulled out the first aid kit and tried to help him. He had come back with plenty of materials, but badly wounded and almost starved. Tom was trying to reassure him, and Maegan had completely broken mentally by the time Baby was back. She had put her boots on her hands and kept giggling ominously in her seat. Emmet was planning to craft a sock puppet as fast as he could once Baby was okay.   
“What happened out there?” asked Emmet.  
“Muh… monst, monsters…” sobbed Baby softly. Emmet and Tom gasped.  
“Oh, God… what were they like?” inquired Emmet.  
“B… big…” Baby didn't say any more. He looked shaken to his core.   
“Hey, you'll be alright. They aren't here anymore, but I am!” said Tom confidently. Baby nodded. He shifted.  
“Keep still, Baby,” directed Emmet.  
“Sorry.”  
“It's okay. Hold on, I’ll be done soon.” Baby, unsure of what else to do, reached for Tom's hand and squeezed it. Tom flushed pink but let Baby hold on to them. It was mostly quiet in the shuttle after that, save a few times where Maegan started laughing or shouting. Tom and Baby watched as Emmet hurriedly started trying to craft a sock puppet, glancing at each other occasionally. It wasn't until ASTRO pointed out that Maegan was passed out in her chair that they all realized they should have been trying to sleep two hours ago. The next day started with everyone groggy.  
“At least you're not hurt, Baby,” comforted Emmet. He and the rest of the group were sitting on the floor a good distance away from Maegan.  
“Yeah… thanks for that, Cap. ‘Nd thanks for lettin' me hold onto you, Tom.”  
“Anything for a friend,” smiled Tom. Baby smiled back sleepily. Tom's stomach did a flip. “Not the first time I’ve had to help an injured man.”  
“Oh really?” asked Emmet sarcastically.  
“Of course,” responded Tom, knowing damn well he didn’t believe them.   
“Wh- what was it like?” stammered Baby innocently. This sent Tom off on another story, but probably the first one where they hadn't been interrupted by someone asking them to stop. They ended it with humor and a happy ending, and Baby started laughing. Emmet snorted, and Tom could have sworn that he almost smiled. That was an achievement, but Baby's face somehow felt more rewarding. The conversation drifted to other subjects, but Tom noticed themself continuously glancing at Baby's face to see if he was still smiling. Then, there was a feeling in the back of their throat they now knew well  
“Ah, guys, I’ve gotta go, uh… Yeah,” Tom managed to say. They walked over to the airlock as casually as they could and, once inside, let the petals come out. God that hurt. Emotionally and physically.  
Because they knew that it meant Baby saw them as a friend. He'd probably never feel the same emotions Tom felt. At least he liked them. He didn't openly hate them or shun them out. He never had. And it was all out of kindness, wanting to be a good friend. A good friend. Friend. Just thinking the word made Tom sick. Why them? Why couldn't they just handle being alone like everyone else they ever knew?  
And why- why- couldn't they just fall for a girl? Like all of their guy friends they'd had? Why did it always have to be another guy so that they'd be too scared to say anything about it, fear of ridicule like the one they'd received when they were a kid and had a guy crush and told their parents? Tom realized they were crying now. They felt light headed. Tom wiped their tears and head back into the shuttle. No point thinking about the past. That didn't matter when you were constantly close to death in space.   
But in the back of their mind, they knew it did matter. It mattered only too much. And what Tom didn't know was that it would be part of being close to death.


	5. Chapter 5

Tom was six. They listened to their friends talk about their crushes. They got a crush on a boy and decided to tell people about it, like the girls did. They didn't understand why everyone was confused or hateful towards them afterwards. They asked their parents and were greeted with physical punishment and a two hour lecture. They were quiet about it after that.  
Tom was eight. They had been insulted and hurt for looking at a boy, wanting to get close to them. They worked to keep their masculinity on par. The girls would like them then. Maybe they'd start liking them too.  
Tom was ten. They started wearing an eyepatch to hide their eye, the weird blue one on the left, only showing the brown on the right. No one needed to know about it, nobody liked it. They lied about their crushes and what girls they were ‘dating'. They got good at it.  
Tom was thirteen. There were people talking about them, as a boy who lied constantly and thought they were better than everyone else. But they had learned being themself didn’t work. Better disliked than seen as a demon. They paced their room, dreaming up a new story to tell. Maybe another version of how they “lost" their eye.  
Tom was seventeen. They were alone in their room. They couldn't remember the last time they'd cried like this. It was too much. Everything was hidden. All they had were their books and their imagination, imagination of a world where they were okay or where they were allowed to say they weren't. If only it was real.  
Tom was twenty-one. They found out there were others. Others shunned for what they thought or said, others alone in the world, others as hurt as they were. It was the only time they had ever felt okay talking about boy crushes. And there were others who talked about them too. They hid all of it away from the rest. But they were finally okay. They laughed with another guy about things they'd done to try and act like they liked girls. It was hard to believe it was happening.  
Tom was twenty-three. They'd never been happier with two years of their life. It was okay to like guys when you were a guy, and it was okay to not even feel like a guy, or a girl. There were four months of their life that they weren't seen as a “he”.  
Tom was twenty-four. They shook in a corner as guns flared. It was dark. They heard shouts of the only real friends they'd ever made. Nobody was ever told of what happened. It didn't really matter they survived. It felt like they hadn't.  
Tom was thirty. Six entire years and they still weren't over it. They'd dated girls and broke up with them, still lying about the eyepatch and what they'd been through. Nobody really listened anymore. It didn't matter. It didn't. Nothing did.

Tom woke up slowly, shaking heavily. Another night of being half-awake, half-asleep. They took in a shaky breath. What time was it? Nobody else was up by the looks of it, and the shuttle was dim. They stood up and immediately had the urge to cough. They backed themself into a corner. When it was over, everything hurt. Breathing was so hard, and they just let the petals fall. Tom had a sudden urge to cry. Ignoring this, they shoved the petals behind the shovel. They turned to Baby. He was sleeping with his mouth open, but he wasn't snoring. It was adorable, but considering what half-dreaming Tom had been thinking about… it felt wrong.  
“Tom?” Tom leaped up. “Shhh!” It was Maegan. She walked over to Tom. “You look upset,” she noted quietly.  
“Nah,” smiled Tom. “Just thinkin’.”   
“Any reason you're up so early?” She looked suspicious.  
“I woke up.” Tom shrugged. They turned their head to eye the soup cans.   
“Whatever you're thinking, don't do it,” suggested Maegan.   
“I'm not gonna steal it,” responed Tom, rolling their eyes. “Just wondering when Emmet'll be up so I can make him get some for me.”  
“Ah, of course.” Tom granted Maegan with finger guns, unsure of how else to respond. Maegan gave them a bemused look. She went back to her chair, though, and Tom did the same. They spent the rest of the early morning staring at nothing in particular, thinking.  
Why did they still have nightmares about that? It was almost ten years ago. Of course, they loved the group when it was alive. They loved being accepted more than they were used to. They loved the friends that they had made. But most had ran off or died just in that one day. It was the past. But holy shit the past hurt.  
Emmet's voice asking for who was hungry woke Tom from the cave of their thoughts. They called out for soup immediately. It was a pretty normal day. As long as they didn't think, it would be an okay day.  
Naturally, all Tom could do the entire day was think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heya! just a quick note slash question here for y'all. i'm not really sure what i want to do next- i could either write a filler chapter that's just the crew dicking around or something, i could write from someone else's point of view, i could skip straight to tom getting busted... if anyone has any ideas or comments or anything, please feel free to tell me them!!!! love you all!!! <<3333


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a week but im still alive!! here's the exposing of our lovely gay bastard y'all asked for

Day 40. The shuttle was quiet. Baby had been sent out again yesterday, Maegan having been sent out before that and returned with not much. Emmet stood up, took a breath in, and looked down at Tom.  
“Tom, I would have sent you out, but there's something that needs to be discussed with you.”  
“Oh?” Tom stood nervously. They scratched their beard, looking up at the captain.   
“You've been sick ever since you came back from your expedition, and every time I’ve asked you about it you've said that you're sure it'll get better and it's not,” explained Emmet. Maegan nodded and stood up as well.  
“Uh- no, no! I'm fine-“  
“Tom, I refuse to believe you're fine at this point!” shouted Emmet. That escalated fast. “As Captain, I am ordering you to tell us what's wrong or to let ASTRO scan you!” Was he angry? Scared? Worried?  
“Ha, no, I’d uh, rather not do that…” laughed Tom, shaking. Maegan walked up to them, twirling a very sharpened hair stick in her fingers.  
“You heard him. Ever since you returned from your expedition… we need to know if there's something harmful out there,” reasoned Maegan, sounding much less threatening than she looked. Tom took a sharp, fearful breath in, like they were about to cry.  
“Oh- oh come ooon… it’s…” Tom’s voice lowered to a frightened whisper. “It’s fine…” They felt something in the back of their throat. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. It was over.  
“Tom, please,” begged Emmet, “we're all scared right now. Just spit it out.” He didn't know how literally that command would be obeyed. Tom started gagging. It was obvious they were in pain. It was over.  
“Tom!” Maegan ran to his side, dropping the hair stick. Emmet froze. Were they going to puke? And then, a collection of petals and drops of blood fell from Tom's mouth. There was a sudden silence in the shuttle. Tom fell to their knees, taking in a harsh breath. It was over.  
“That- no…. Tom…” Maegan's tone was a blend. Of pain, of anger, of pity, of fear, of sadness. Tom wheezed. It was over.  
“Hanahaki,” said Emmet. His tone, meanwhile, was flat shock.  
“Hanahaki disease? Captain, I have that stored as a human myth,” argued ASTRO.  
“Well, it's not,” muttered Tom, too quiet to hear.  
“It's- well, it's thought to be, by most people… it's so rare, and most who get it hide it and end up… end up dead…” Emmet's voice choked up.  
“Well, that's new information.” ASTRO began collecting their info about the disease.  
“Wh- why didn’t you tell us?”  
“Because I thought…” Tom struggled to speak. “…because I thought you'd kick me out for it.” Oh, now they chose to tell the truth. Great fucking timing, Tom. Tom started sobbing almost silently, the combination of their friends so disappointed and mental voice so pissed getting to them. Tom turned to the airlock. At least he didn’t have to see them like this.   
“It's Baby, isn't it?” said Emmet softly. Tom nodded. Baby. The only one that ever cared. The only one that ever listened. The only person Tom ever new they loved and did nothing to stop it. But it was over. It was over.  
“Well… what're you gonna do with me now?” asked Tom. Their voice held no emotion. “Actually kick me out? Or just let me starve in the shuttle?” It was over.  
“Tom… why would we do that?” Emmet sat down next to Tom, but avoiding the bloodied petals. “This is no reason for that.” Yes it was. It was over.  
“Tom. Yes, we complain about you and interrupt you, but that doesn't mean we'd let you die. You're a member of the team. We'll try to help you.” Maegan sat down too. Tom looked up at their captain and crewmate. Did they really…? They didn't hate them for liking Baby? Even though…  
“…we're both guys.” Tom stated it like it should have been obvious- which it was, but it didn't look like it had been processed. Emmet blinked, and it clicked.  
“You didn’t tell us because-?!”  
“Yeah.”  
“Tom…” Emmet took in a breath. He’d never wanted to say it out loud, but this was needed. “…I’m bi.” He shivered but kept going. “And… and I’m a transman. I got kicked out of my home… kicked out of my home because my parents didn't accept me. And even if I wasn't, I’d never throw someone out because they liked the same gender. We all care about you, Tom. I'm not lying, I promise you.”  
“Wh...” Tom stared up at Emmet. They struggled to try and process what he just said. He… he looked like he was being truthful. He wasn’t mad. He was like them. Was… was it not over?  
“Well… while we're at it, I’m bi as well. I've been wanting to keep it low my whole life, but this is an exception. Tom, please, open your eyes. It's okay.” Maegan placed a hand on Tom's shoulder. Everyone was shaking. But it wasn't over. It wasn't.  
Memories of the next few minutes were blurred. It was mostly Tom crying and getting hugged. It wasn't over. It wasn't over. They were okay.  
It was going to be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fyi absolutely nothing happens in this chapter i just needed a bridge between tom's exposure and their confession to baby. enjoy tho, hopefully i'll have actual plot out soon <3

“Th- thank you… thank you…” coughed Tom. They sat up and took in a deep breath. That felt better. It was so much easier to breathe than it had been for weeks.  
“It's no problem,” assured Emmet softly, taking one of his arms off of Tom and leaving the other wrapped around their shoulder. He was still shocked he had managed to come out, just like that. So was Maegan, but she'd never admit or show it.   
“Yes, this is very sweet,” cut in ASTRO, making everyone jump, “but we need to do something about this hanahaki disease. I’ve processed most of the information I have about it from fiction to reality, and there's only two ways to cure it.”  
“Oh, yes…” muttered Maegan.   
“Two?” asked Tom nervously.  
“Yes, unfortunately,” sighed Emmet, shifting. “It’s either removed surgically and the love will fade… or it has to become mutual love.”  
“Oh.” Those both sounded impossible. “Y… you said people could die from it?”  
“Yes,” responded Maegan, giving Emmet a break. “The more plentiful and painful the petals being coughed up is, the worse the disease is getting, and it's in its final stages they look like entire flowers. Most of the time the victim dies soon after from suffocation.”  
“Why do you know that?” asked ASTRO, almost accusatory.  
“You learn strange things throughout life,” sighed Maegan.  
“So- so what am I gonna do?” cut in Tom. Emmet and Maegan looked at each other.   
“I think we'll… have to wait for Baby to come back…” suggested Emmet quietly. “And… you'll have to ask him what he thinks. It's the only way.” Just thinking about confessing made Tom nauseous.  
“But isn't part of the disease that it's… y’know… unrequited?” mumbled Tom.  
“Sometimes it's just because the victim believes their target doesn't like them,” informed Emmet hopefully, “or because the target hasn't processed their feelings.”  
“You can't get too hopeful, Emmet,” reminded Maegan. “We need to prepare for the worst.” Tom moved themself to a criss-cross position on the floor. They looked uncomfortable. “Oh, let's… not discuss that, actually.”  
“Let's just… stay quiet,” mumbled Emmet, “for a little.”   
“…I’ll clean this up.” Maegan scooped the small pile of petals into her hands, grabbed a mask, and went out the airlock. Emmet and Tom stayed on the floor until Maegan came back in. The whole group got up and started working on the day's chores, but it felt different. Friendlier, almost. The last Tom had expected was them to feel better after they were found out, but it happened. Thank goodness.  
The next two days were quiet. Quiet discussions and questioning, random “thank you"s here and there. It was both the most comfortable and uncomfortable time ever spent on the shuttle, especially when the heating temporarily broke and they all had to share a sock puppet for warmth.   
The main bad part of those days was sleeping. Tom couldn't get more than two hours of sleep at a time before choking on petals. Emmet and Maegan sometimes woke up from this since Tom now cared less if they did it discreetly or not. Well, now they both knew why Tom would keep falling asleep during the day. About halfway through the second day, day 42, the day before Baby was expected to come back, Maegan and Emmet were both awake while Tom appeared to be sleeping. Emmet placed his face in one of his hands.  
“I'm still struggling to believe this actually happened,” he admit. “And I’m not sure if I mean the explosion, how long we've survived, or Tom's disease.”  
“Yes… Quite a lot has happened. I’m not sure what I expected to happen being launched into space during the program, but this-" Maegan waved a hand at the shuttle’s interior. “-isn’t quite it.” She sighed and sat up. “I'm not necessarily displeased, though.”  
“We're dying in space, Maegan.”  
“It's not all bad.”  
“You didn’t have to suffer with insane-you.” Normally Emmet wouldn't sass someone he respected, but he was extremely tired. Technically it would be day 43 soon. He yawned into his hand.  
“I suppose that's fair.” Maegan smiled, reaching up a hand to touch her hair. There was a silence in the shuttle as both of their eyes ended up on Tom. They were still unconscious.  
“I hope they end up okay,” admit Emmet. “I have no idea how Baby's going to feel, but…”  
“Hopefully it's not negative,” finished Maegan. Emmet nodded. He yawned. There wasn't any more talking until Tom woke up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I *PUNCHES A WALL* FINALLY *BANGS HEAD INTO THE CEILING* FUCKING *PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE* FINISHED IIITTTTT  
> I've been suffering really badly from a lack of time and hating everything I write, but I've finally done it.  
> I have no idea if I'll be adding some sort of epilogue or not, but this is the end for now because I just need this done. I hope you all enjoy!

Day 43. Tom's eye kept darting to the airlock anxiously. Emmet and Maegan would look at Tom, at the airlock, and then at each other. The only thing to make noise was ASTRO quietly telling Emmet the day's reports. And then he announced, loudly, “Baby’s outside the airlock!” Heads shot up. A beat of silence, then another, and then Emmet raced to the airlock controls. In ten seconds, Baby, tired but alive, stumbled into the shuttle. Tom stood up. If their heart hadn’t been racing fast before, it was now.   
“Hey, Cap'n!” laughed Baby. “Y' look surprised.” Emmet said nothing, giving Baby a quick hug. “Oh? Uh… d' somethin’ happen while I was gone?”  
“…a lot did, Baby,” Maegan told him.   
“Are… ‘r things okay now?”  
“No.” Tom shuddered. “I- I n- IneedtotalktoyouBaby.” Somehow Baby understood their mumblings. He looked concerned but nodded. He approached his crewmate and placed a hand on Tom's shoulder. Tom looked up, shaking softly.  
“Y-you okay?” Well, the answer was pretty obviously ‘no’, but it was nice to ask, right?  
“Baby…” Tom had been thinking this scene out in their head over and over, but… how exactly were you supposed to plan something like this? “…Do you know wh, what hanahaki disease is?” Keep it simple. Baby’s face scrunched up in thought.  
“I' feels fameel- familiar… but, no… disease? Does someone have it?” Baby asked nervously. He wrapped his arms around himself.   
“It's- it's a disease where you start coughing up flower petals. And you- and you catch it from, uh…” Tom turned away, face pink. “…from being in love with someone who doesn- doesn’t love you… love you back.” Tom choked up. “And…” Their voice lowered to a whisper. Baby leaned in. “…and I have it. Because I love you.” There. They said it. They would not cry this early into the conversation. Nope.  
“…why?”  
“Wh… what d-do you mean, why?” Tom looked back up.  
“Why would… you love me?” Baby's confusion was genuine. “Wh- what do I have?” He sounded so sad…  
“Baby, what kind… What kind of question is that? You…” Tom took in a breath and started rambling. “You're the sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever met. You care so much about people and you're always so willing to help. You put so much detail into everything you do.” Tom stopped and then kept going.  
“You throw so much support and happiness to people. You’re always honest but never unkindly. And that's not even mentioning your habits- how you love to draw little pictures on the shuttle to give it life, your jerky little motions, the way you start dancing whenever you or someone else is happy…” There was laughter in their tone in the last point. Tom's face fell again as they looked down. “You’re… you're everything, Baby. Everything.” Tom's eye closed. It opened again when they heard Baby sobbing.  
“Th… that's t’ first time… that's the firs' time anyone's told me I'm more th' just brawn…” Baby had tears in his eyes. “Th's all my parents ever tol' me I was…”  
“Baby… no.” Tom grabbed his arm. “You are so much more than just muscle. I don’t care what anyone else sees. You are the kindest soul I’ve ever met and I will fight the world to prove it. If your parents… if your parents actually told you that-" Tom realized they were squeezing Baby's arm and let go- “-you need to know that you don't deserve them. You couldn't do anything to make me- anyone- think you'd ever deserve cruelty.” Tom knew they were talking too much and too loudly, but something in them had broken and released a flood of words. Baby stared, and then broke into sobs. Without thinking, Tom pulled him into a hug. Even after thinking about it, they kept holding on to him.  
“I- I've ne- never been… told I, I deserved an, anyth-thing… I…” Baby heaved in and pulled his head back to look at Tom. “I’ve… never been allowed to get… attached to anything. Or anyone. It… would just get taken away.” Baby shook as he closed his eyes. “I… stopped letting myself get atch- attached.” Baby opened his eyes to gaze sadly at Tom. ”But… I want to.”  
“I know how that feels,” mumbled Tom, looking away. Their eyes then shot back up to Baby, tears just forming. “I… I don't want to leave you. I’m not going to.” They looked down. “I’m... I’m not lying…” Tom hissed to themself. Baby placed a hand on their shoulder and they looked up.  
“I believe you,” Baby mumbled. Tom blinked, and then fell onto Baby. He re-tightened the hug.   
“S… so you're… okay? With, with it?” Tom mumbled, half of their face pressed onto Baby’s chest. They could feel their tears slipping down now, and wasn't trying to hold them. Baby's response was squeezing them tighter and shoving his face best he could onto Tom's shoulder. Tom sobbed as they clutched onto Baby, who was crying too, quieter but just as uncontrolled. Neither had noticed that Emmet and Maegan had left to let them talk, but neither would have cared. It was a couple minutes later when everyone was back inside and on their seats, Baby and Tom trying to dry their tears, but everyone was smiling softly the rest of the day.  
Nobody ever saw another petal on board.


End file.
